Lonely because of Body Insecurities

Hi my name is morgan and im a 17 yr old female. Im just started yr 12 and Im a world qualified dancer. Ive had eating problems since i was around 15. I ve always hated my body and in year 9 I starved myself for weeks on end. I eventualy went to school counselling and I eventually started eating but sticking to safe foods etc. I dance 4 - 5 days a week, each day being around 3 hours. on the off days I just do muscle strengthening. Im a person of structure and I become anxious when my daily structures and routines are not there, so i hate school holidays. At the moment its schools holidays and im just really unhappy. at the moment my school holidays consist of me staying at home, sticking to safe foods at the correct times ive planned out and doing exercise routines ive made for each day. my friends love food and having fun with each other and often ask me to come out to the movies or the city and do other activities but Ive declined all the invites because Im too scared about the food and temptation may be too much for me to handle and I dont want to end up eating foods that will ruin my hard work and in a day out with friends there is no routine or anything, and I just cant do it. This means Im pretty much lonely whilst my sister is out having fun with her friends and my parents are out at work, Im at home alone just trying to get through each day in my safety 'net'. No one knows how much pain Im in, everyone thinks Im happy but Im really not and because my school is on christmas holidays now, Im not able to see my counsellor, seeing a psychologist outside of school is not an option as its expensive and Id have to ask my parents.  I feel really lonely, depressed, anxious and I can feel my old anorexic habits wanting to come back. Dont know what to do..