Suicidal Thoughts

well it started a year ago when my parents split up i have always been the funny happy smiley girl but thats all fake.... i cant be happy. i started to cut a month after the divorse and now i cant stop.. i dont fit in and i have suicide thoughts they wont stop. this year when i was having a bad day i got into the medicine cabnet and filled my hand with my dads anxioty medicine.... i was going to do it i had the pills in my hand.... but i didnt .... i think everyone would be better off if i wasnt here. my dad asked me if i was happy and i lied and told him yes. i am not happy. please help me?

-sam

Dear Sam, 

Please do not commit suicide. You are a valuable and irreplaceable human being! 

Here are a few steps I know can help, if you implement them. 

Step 1: Tell someone! You need to confide in somebody. It can be a friend, or a parent, or anyone else. Keeping your emotions locked inside will increase your feelings of isolation and loneliness. This can be difficult, but please trust me, finding just one person to pour your heart out to, will make a big difference. If you can't find anyone you trust, feel free to e-mail me at askaiko.webnode@gmail.com. 

Step 2: Think about your health. Your emotional health is closely tied to your physical health. Avoid eating sugar because it increases mood swings. Start exercising regularly because it increases dopamine in your brain and is a constructive way to let out anger. 

Step 3: Find ways to serve others. It is hard to think of anyone but yourself at this dark time of your life, but you can gain real happiness by lifting others up. The more you help others in big or small ways, the better you will feel about yourself. 

Step 4: Talk to yourself. At a tender age in my own life, I really disliked myself on the outside and inside. I wanted to feel differently, so every time I looked into the mirror I told myself, "You are beautiful because God made you." I felt cheesy, and it didn't help that much at the beginning, but as time went on, I started to believe it. Now, years later, my smiles are sincere and I genuinely feel good about myself. Come up with your own phrase just for you about how valuable you are. Tell yourself this phrase constantly. 

Please, do these steps and message me how things are going. I know many people care about you. Your family and friends really care a lot about you and want what is best for you, but they can't help if they don't know what is going on inside of you.

I care a lot about you too and am terribly sad that you are hurting. Please, start this healing process, for all those who love you and for yourself. You can do it! 

Sincerely,

Aiko